Let’s just say that I have felt quite discouraged lately. The question I’ve been sitting with is whether I just have a tendency to self-sabotage, or whether a constant feeling of failure is inevitable when we are trying to reorient growth, redefine “success”, and
As always, your writing is deeply moving, and nourishing. Thank you. Yours can be a lonely path, as you ‘do the right thing’ and pay the price and yet you must walk your talk, right?
I have a lot to say about all of this but will just share a few thoughts for now. :-)
Those who take risks, like you, and are so generous, need to know that we have your back, financially (I support Green Dreamer and this Substack and invite others to join) but also socially in terms of endorsing your work for as long as you can keep going. In other words, solidarity. Ironically it is technology that brings us your work, but a podcast or blog (such as this one), which is basically the equivalent of an book or story, is quite different from the algorithmic beast of social media. ‘Il faut pouvoir faire la part des choses’, as we say in French. Maybe it’s time for new communication networks to evolve? I’m part of the Deep Transformation network, for example.
Imagine a time before electronic communications. I would have heard about your work through oral networks and gatherings : ‘I heard of a young woman on the west coast who has some great stories and wisdom to share. She speaks the truth and has a good sense of humour. Here is one of them…’
Kamea, you’re a great story teller and an unapologetic shit disturber. I use ‘shit’ here in the sense of Dr. Vanessa Andreotti’s use of the term in relation to our collective need to embrace our complicity with the ‘good, the bad, the ugly and the messed within and around’ up as you discussed with her in 'Vanessa Andreotti: Allowing Earth to dream through us (ep338) — GREEN DREAMER'.
My own learning journey is unfolding - in parallel with others like you - as I tackle the exercises in her Hospicing Modernity book. Andreotti is calling us to do exactly what you are doing : deeply rethink our relation with modernity and do the hard work of leading a transition out of it.
That’s why your ‘self-sabotaging’ posting is so important. You are doing the hard work - deconstruction and rebuilding - that we all need to do. This is leadership in action. I hope you get a fellowship or major grant in order to be more free to continue this work.
I want to remind you that you are appreciated and supported by many (more than you know through technology) and that MORE WILL COME because they will hear, through the grape vine or maybe a telegraph, about your amazing and courageous work and the shape shifting stories you tell.
Hang in there and trust your instincts.
Thank you for writing this!
A few thoughts:
1) We're so conditioned that our life is supposed to take a straight path toward "success" but in reality success is going to look different in different life stages. I love that you're constantly growing and shifting and it's inspiring because you're showing everyone the power of evolving.
2) I made a commitment this year to turn virtual acquaintances into real-life friends; we have a great social media community and this year we're trying to do things like stay at the airbnb of an insta follower, build a partnership outside of social media with another connection, visit a farm we've only connected to virtually, etc. I like to think of graph theory (math nerd here) and social media is one node and my real life is another node and I'm trying to build connections between my real life nodes and my virtual ones.
3) We're all messy and contradictory and I really appreciate that you share your conflicted thoughts with the world
Thank you for your authenticity and vulnerability Kamea! I completely relate to the sentiment of this piece and find myself constantly conflicted between sharing my life and 'playing the game' on social media and breaking away to be present.
Ultimately, you and your work have been a breath of fresh air on social platforms full of nonsense and reactivity. Your piece 'Earth needs therapy, not "green" tech nor "green" finance.' sparked a desire in me to start my own conservation travel company, ConserVentures (www.conserventures.com.au), to encourage others to think about conservation and environmental rehabilitation as a personal responsibility and provide an alternative to disingenuous and highly commercialised 'ecotourism'.
I hope you can continue sharing so that you can have a similar impact on others. 💚